Three things Stratham could use- Taco Bell, Boston Market, and Citizen's Bank on
this side of the street. Someone caught a photo of me running across to get money out today:
Well, it felt like that anyway.
I've published more to this in a week than I have all along it seems. I can't sleep; I keep coughing and waking up when I'm nearly sleeping, and damn if it doesn't hurt when I cough. Feh. I've tried to enable the ability to comment on these ramblings if anyone cares to- we'll see if it works when next I republish.
It took 86 years, but screw the Bambino, the Red Sox won the World Series. Color me stupefied!
So the quest for a house continues. I was at the realtor's office yesterday, waiting for her to come in, when the receptionist came over to the water bubbler for a drink. Little did I know that she came over because she had a tickle in her throat and needed to cough. I learned this when she said "hi" and proceeded to convulse in a fit of deep bronchial coughs about 2 feet from my head. Bitch has bronchitis. Fab u lous! So I think to myself "huzzah!" as my last bout with bronchitis kept me up for 4 nights unable to sleep from the need to cough and the pain of it.
Fast forward to this afternoon, when I go to move someone's car who doesn't understand that "No Parking" includes her even though she's a Senior Citizen (who quite frankly shouldn't have been driving anyway, had you seen her "skill" at doing so) I start coughing- deep, chest coughing. I feel like crap tonight. If that woman made me sick, I'm going to set the building on fire Initech style. Bronchitis is evil, like fricken sharks with fricken laser beams on their heads kind of evil; ill-tempered sea bass evil. Feh.
Speaking of evil things, I decided my
evil plan needed to be updated. Without further ado-
North Ursalia's Evil Plan (tm)
The objective is simple: Widespread Misery.
The motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature
Stage OneTo begin your plan, you must first incinerate a superman. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, unsettled by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?
Stage TwoNext, you must obliterate the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do your every bidding.
Stage ThreeFinally, you must send forth your unholy weapon, bringing about the apocalypse. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare take your lunch money. Everyone will bow before your mystical abilities, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.
So I am a reluctant member of "Red Sox Nation" (in that I really don't care if they win or lose) but I suppose I have to pass this along as it's a pretty decent dig.
Three baseball fans were on their way from a game when they noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They looked and discovered a nude woman, drunk and passed out. Out of respect for the lady, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes.
Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes.
The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"
"Well," said the officer, "I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole."
