If I disappear (again) on anyone over the next several days, I apologize. Some very not fun things are happening right now (well, they have been for a long time, but recently things got quite a bit worse). Why am I telling you all this? I dunno- most of you are like family to me, and those of you who aren't simply aren't because I haven't met you before. Some of you are like crazy Aunt Gretchen (you know, the one who likes to knit obscure things and put doilies under everything, and covers the furniture in plastic- everyone has one) in your own ways, but I digress. As some of you know, my mom has COPD- Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. It's fatal. With treatment, it takes longer to be fatal. With a lung or lung lobe transplant, patients have a fighting chance. In a nutshell, is a progressive degredation of the lungs. About two years ago, we found out she had this, because she quite literally nearly died- we didn't know she had it. She spent a week in a regular hospital and about 2 weeks in a Rehab, learning to cope and do the daily things in life in new ways- she became one of those people you see strapped to green oxygen tanks. At any rate, they were going to put her on a transplant list as long as she lost X number of pounds, to make surgery safe. She worked at it for nearly a year and she did lose the weight, and she got on the transplant list. About 2 months ago she was notified that she had made it to the top 5 list- there are 5 people, each with different blood types and characteristics, who are the 'fist pick' if a donor matching their type is found. This was the absolute high point- she was nearly guaranteed now to get her transplant, and have a shot at a 'normal' life again. She went to the doctor's for one of her routine check ups last week, and they became concerned about some nodes/lumps they found, so they did a biopsy. She heard back from the doctors yesterday with devastating news- she has cancer. The cancer by itself oddly enough isn't the problem... they are about 95% sure that it can be totally taken care of, as it was found so very very early. Problem is, one of the 'rules' of the transplant game is that you have to be cancer-free for two years. She'll be dead long before then without a lung transplant. So cancer, without being the direct cause, will now be her executioner. It's all a bit much to take- your parents are the ones who always made you 'better' when you were sick as a kid, and you always had the idea they were invincible. You'd like to at least be able to return the favor, but there is 100% absolutely nothing I can do, and I'm furious that I can't. Mom told me yesterday 'everything happens for a reason' but I'm just not seeing it now. I'm not looking for pity, sympathy, or anything like that- I think I just needed to 'talk' about it or something. That, and I wanted you folks to know what's going on if I'm not around for awhile. Take care of your families and hold them close and dear- you never know when they may not be with you anymore. Cherish the times you're pissed off at one another, because you will still have the time to make up. Don't say 'not now, maybe later' to your kids, because tomorrow may never come. Take every chance to make new memories, because someday, they're going to be all you have.
