I sit here, pondering the events of the day. Today was my last day of work at a job I will miss dearly, mostly for the people I worked with- some of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of working with. All of those that left today will move on to bigger, better, and brighter things without a doubt, as the skills, tools, and talent are there for all of us to succeed. I mourn the fact that we all won't be doing that together, but such is life. The "hey you all got laid off because the job moved to PA" party afterwards was great to unwind from the stress of the AM paperwork festival of stupidity (they misspelled my name wrong on the severance paperwork... who knows, maybe the "Brain" guy will get laid off and Brian aka me will still get paychecks? Much hard liquor, beer, and Corona was to be had, along with good times and good eats. Nice way to say goodbye to people who had been essentially your work "family" for two years. Cinco de Mayo is Sunday. Went to Margaritas with a young lady who I treasure more than life itself (but who will remain nameless so I don't get my ass kicked) and sort of ran into the celebration, which started tonight there. Got out of there with a bitchin' sombrero plus a lead on a new job from our waiter Bill. If you are in NH and happen to get up near Nashua, head to Margaritas and with any luck you'll get Bill- great guy, great waiter, wonderful stories to tell. Listen to him when he says "try the _________"... this man knows what he is talking about! At any rate, a good finish to what could have been a lousy day- probably had a great deal to do with the company I was with. If you should read this honey, thank you again for this evening. The times we spend together are too far apart and too infrequent in my eyes, but I treasure every one dearly. I don't care what we do or where we go as long as I get to spend time with you. I love you now and always, more than words could possibly describe. You are the most incredible and special individual who has ever walked into my life- please never forget that. Never doubt for even the briefest moment of the day that you are loved by someone.
Someone I worked with wanted the Summoner Geeks video short transcribed, and hell- I was bored. Since I need it to be slightly useful, I figure I'll post it here:
Graham: Galstaff, you have entered the door to the North, you are now by yourself standing in a dark room. The pungent smell of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls
2: WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?!?!
Graham: They're right next to you
Galstaff: I cast a spell
2: Where's the mountain dew?
Graham: In the fridge, DUH!
Galstaff: I wanna cast a spell!
2: CAN I HAVE A MOUNTAIN DEW?!?!
Graham: Yes, you can have a mountain dew just go get it
Galstaff: I can cast any of these right, on the list?
Graham: Yes, any of the first level ones
2: I'M GOING TO GET A SODA, ANYONE WANT ONE?!?! HEY GRAHAM I'M NOT IN THE ROOM RIGHT?
Graham: What room?
Galstaff: I want to cast MAGIC MISSILE
2: THE ROOM WHERE HE'S CASTING ALL THESE SPELLS FROM!
Graham: He hasn't cast anything yet
Galstaff: I am though if you'd listen- I'm casting MAGIC MISSILE.
Graham: Why are you casting magic missile? There's nothing to attack here.
Galstaff: I... I'm attacking the darkness!
(LAUGHTER FROM ALL)
Graham: Fine, fine... you attack the darkness. There's an elf in front of you
4: WHOA! That's me right?
Graham: He's wearing a brown tunic, and he has gray hair and blue eyes
4: No I don't, I have gray eyes
Graham: Let me see that sheet
4: Well it says I have... well it says I have blue but I decided I want gray eyes
Graham: Whatever... Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want
Galstaff: Hello
4: Hello
Galstaff: I am Galstaff, sorcerer of light!
4: Then how come you had to cast magic missile?
(LAUGHTER FROM ALL)
Graham: You guys are being attacked
2: DO I SEE THAT HAPPENING?!?!
Graham: No, you're outside by the Tavern
2: COOL, I GET DRUNK
Graham: Sigh... there are seven ogres surrounding you
Galstaff: How could they surround us? I had Mordenkainen's Magical Watchdog cast
Graham: No you didn't!
2: I'M GETTING DRUNK, ARE THERE ANY GIRLS THERE?
Galstaff: I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no, but I need material components for all of my spells, so I cast Mordenkaiden's Faithful Watchdog.
Graham: But you never actually cast it
2: ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF I'M GETTING DRUNK!
Graham: Arghhhh... yeah, you are
2: ARE THERE ANY GIRLS THERE?
Graham: Yeah...
Galstaff: I did though- I completely said when you asked me...
Graham: NO YOU DIDN'T. You didn't actually say that you were casting the spell so now there's Ogres okay?
2: OGRES? MAN, I'VE GOT AN OGRE-SLAYING KNIFE, IT'S GOT A +9 AGAINST OGRES!
Graham: YOU'RE NOT THERE! You're getting drunk!
2: OKAY, BUT IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS THERE I WANT TO DO THEM!
Say you are sitting at your last week of work and are bored to tears. You could
concoct a plan to take over the world. My plan for evil domination follows:
Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all
Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a town mascot. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good wearing the skin of another human?
Stage Two
Next, you will desecrate the Internet. This will cause countless hordes of the religious right to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with slaughter, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.
Stage Three
Finally, you will covertly move your armageddon clock, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. This will all be done from a Medieval Castle, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god. Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.
