The Captain Himself Or... "one of these kids is doing his own thing" So yeah, some of you have been wondering what your maniacal host looks like, well, I bet you're sorry you asked... that is what he looks like, in all his glory. Please do not poke, prod, feed, nor taunt the wildlife. Showtunes scheduled daily at 8am, 12 noon, and 5pm. The actor responds to "Brian", "North", "North Ursalia", "Gummy Bear", "watch it you jerk", and "hey you" if you need to get his attention. You can email me if you feel an unending sense of need to do so. CAUTION: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Captain. Do not use the Captain if you have high blood pressure, extreme sensitivity to light, syphillis, gonorrhea, or anything you need penicillin to clear up. Do not operate heavy machinery or attempt to drive after being exposed to the Captain, and no swimming for one hour-... you'll get cramps. The Captain may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. The Captain contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use The Captain on concrete. If the Captain begins to smoke, get away immediately- cover head and seek shelter or the nearest hospital/poison control center as needed. The Captain may stick to certain types of skin- the Captain should be returned to its special container and kept under palm trees in locales with soft summer breezes and warm tropical seas when not in use. Discontinue use of the Captain if any of the following occurs: Itching Vertigo Dizziness Tingling in extremities Loss of balance or coordination Slurred speech Temporary blindness Profuse sweating Heart palpitations Failure to do so relieves the makers of the Captain, Ravensblade-Impreza, and its parent company Ravensblade.com, of any and all liability. Captain Morgan is not licensed for use in Kentucky, Tennessee, or any states where incest is law. Ms. Cleo was framed.